


The Ballad of Romulus

by i_am_the_n1_trash



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Creativity Split (Sanders Sides), Creativity split himself, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Dr. Emile Picani is Logic | Logan Sanders and Morality | Patton's Sanders' Fusion, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Implied Character with PTSD, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, On Hiatus, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:35:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27470572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_am_the_n1_trash/pseuds/i_am_the_n1_trash
Summary: It's been a long time since Creativity split. He still exists, barely there, with every idea the twins have, with every breath Thomas takes. He may be dead, but he's never felt more alive than in Roman and Remus. They are real and they are his legacy.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, King Creativity | Romulus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Past King Creativity | Romulus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Kudos: 14





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This story is basically what happens after an one shot I wrote on my Tumblr (@i_am_the_n1_trash). The prologue is that same one shot, tho a bit edited to fit a chaptered fic. Hope you enjoy it!!

Romulus hadn't been alive for a long time. He was creativity, the Creativity, the King loved by everyone. A legend, hardly a myth, barely remembered. And he was a kid. He was just a kid.

When the others talk about the split, they talk about hidden pain. They talk about mismatched eyes and ripped clothes, beautiful kingdoms and terrifying monsters. They never talk about being eleven years old and wanting to cry and to scream and to rip off your brain because _it hurts, why does it hurt, why can't you agree with me, why won't you agree with yourself?_

\------------

He is five years old and he's alive. The world is big and beautiful and filled to the brim with color. He climbs trees, he runs through mud, he does everything he pleases with no regrets. He's not sure he knows what happiness is, but this is the closest he'll ever be to understanding it. (He ignores how the wind whispers in his ear that he could fall from the tree, he could choke on the mud, he could do millions of things wrong and ruin his happily ever after.)

\------------

He is nine years old and he is tired. He just wants to stop feeling like an onlooker onto himself, onto a body he can barely call his anymore, filled to the brim with voices that are almost like his, but just not quite. Yes, there are voices. He can't remember when they started (where they always there), but they are loud, so loud, louder than his ideas, louder than his thoughts, so much, _too_ much. He can't think anymore. His ideas are muddy, unhinged, unfinished. He is so, so tired.

\------------

He is eleven years old and he is done. There are no more colors in his eyes, all of them a mesh of grey and black. He's not sure how much of his world has been eroded away by a laugh he doesn't recognize (it's his own laugh, why can't he tell, why can't he hear it, why can't he hear anything) but he knows it's too much. He looks in the mirror, looks himself in the eye (it's the only sense he still has left, where have the rest gone to, what happened to him) and decides he is done. That is the last thought he has. (That's not true, he remembers pain, he remembers regret, he remembers feeling his bones breaking as one body turns into two. He tries to forget it)

\------------

It's been a long time since Creativity split. He still exists, barely there, with every idea the twins have, with every breath Thomas takes. He may be dead, but he's never been more alive than in Roman and Remus. They are real and they are his legacy.

\------------

"Red!" Yelled a voice, somewhere in the Imagination. "Prissy-Pants! Knight in broken armour! Brother!"

"Yes, Remus, I heard you the first time." Answered Roman, exasperated, not getting up from the desk he was sitting at. "What do you need?"

"Thomas summoned me! Like, no fucking around, he wanted my help!" Roman was expecting a smile on his brother's face, but Remus only had a confused look.

"Well, yes, I told him to. I may be dashingly superior-" Remus snorted at that "- but I don't have reign of the entire Imagination."

"But… why? You know he doesn't like my ideas. Hell, nobody does... Except Joan. They're the only fucker I respect." Remus said, still confused.

"Remus. It's Halloween. I adore horror as much as anyone else, but making it is not really my specialty. That's your area." Roman responded, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Did… did I do wrong? I just thought… maybe you might like to work together on this…"

Remus stayed uncharacteristically quiet, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"We haven't worked on anything together in years, Roman. Do we still even know how to?"

"We used to do it all the time. It should be easy enough to relearn." Said Roman softly. His brother still looked a little disoriented. "Come on. Don't you trust me?" He offered his hand. More quiet, for a minute, and then an answer, strong and mocking, pretending the soft moment of vulnerability between them never happened.

"Fine, I can see you are in desperate need of my help. But! No ignoring my ideas, ok?" Remus takes his brother's hand and everything goes black.

\------------

When he wakes up, his head is pounding. He's confused.

"Roman? No, Remus? Where are- Who am I?" He knows the answer. He dreads it.

He looks down and sees his fears confirmed. He's wearing silver and red and green. His hair is longer than it had ever been. He's taller too. He's the King. He doesn't know what to do so he yells.

"No! Please, no! I'm supposed to be dead! I don't want this! I don't want… I don't want to be me again…"

He yells, and yells, until his voices goes hoarse, and, when it does, he cries. He doesn't know how loud he's being, but he knows it's loud enough for someone to notice.

Patton does. It makes sense that the man would be the first to hear it. Patton is emotions, and anger and sadness are some of the strongest of them all.

"Roman, kiddo, is everything okay? I heard yelling!" The kind-hearted man sees a figure hunched over, and assumes it's who he's looking for. He puts a hand on the figures shoulder. "Sweetheart, what happened?"

The king looks up and he can see the moment Patton recognizes him and gasps softly, his mismatched red and green eyes giving him away.

"Romulus… Hey, there, buddy. It's been a long time, uh?" He whispers softly.

Romulus hugged him, tears still streaming down his face. Patton hugs him back and plays with his hair, calming him down the best he could. The king eventually stops crying.

"Hey, Rom. You up for talking now?"

"… I don't know. I don't.. remember. We… I… I'm not the same. The voices are gone." Romulus said confused.

"It's okay, dove. It's gonna be okay." Patton whispered lovingly.

"I don't think I want to be me. I haven't wanted that in a long time"

Patton sighed. "I know, bud. We read your letter when you… left. But I don't know how to fix this. Do you trust me?"

Romulus thought for a second. He'd trusted Patton with his life once. Roman and Remus did too. "I do"

"Then come upstairs with me. Logan would know how to help. Plus…" Patton bit his lip "We love Roman and Remus... But we missed you."

"…Ok"


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton is worried and confused. Logan goes against his own advice and represses his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if you see any typos! Thanks for reading!

Patton was confused. Fairly, he thought. When he woke up that morning, his plans hadn't included finding his presumed dead childhood friend in what was basically their backyard, but he could work with it. Improvise, adapt, overcome and all that schtick.

In theory, he knew Sides could fuse. It wasn't news to anyone that Logan and him would do it all the time, for videos or for fun, but he'd never associated that with the fact that Remus and Roman fused would bring back the King. Okay, that was a lie. He assumed it would happen, but he never wanted to suggest it. He was scared of it not working, and of destroying the little hope he had to get his friend back. And it worked, it seemed. He was back, even if a little different than what he used to be. His hair was long, somewhere between Roman's neat short cut and Remus' long unruly mane. His outfit was still a lovely shade of silver, but the accents that used to be pink were now red and green, both colors fighting for attention, as if mirroring the twins' relationship. And he had a beard! Patton expected some kind of facial hair; after all, Remus was a part of him, but he had to admit it was weird to see, though not unwelcome. 

But that wasn't what mattered. What mattered was that Romulus was clinging to his arm as if he was s little kid, though he guesses that wouldn't be entirely false, having in account he was eleven years old the last time he had seen him, and he hadn't spoken a single word since he'd agreed to go see Logan, instead choosing to look at his feet the whole way up the stairs from the Imagination, which was worrying. Creativity was not meant to be quiet. And that was only Problem n°1.

Problem n°2 was upstairs having breakfast in the kitchen, unaware of what was happening. Logan. Patton loved Logan very dearly, but he was aware that he could… overreact. And he was sure that was especially true when it came to Romulus, having in account how close they used to be. But he didn't really have a choice. He had to take the king to Logan, he was the only one who would know what to do.  


\------------------------

Logan was having a nice morning. He woke up at 6am sharp, and started working through Roman's suggestions for new videos while eating an apple. He was happy to find some of Remus' ideas as well, even if they were a bit gruesome. Logan was not Remus' biggest fan, but he knew the other side was important to Thomas, and that including him would help in the long run. At 7:45, he left his room and went to the kitchen, where he knew Patton was making breakfast for all of them. As he got there, he kissed Patton on the cheek as a good morning and went to the pantry to get jam for his toast. A nice, normal morning. Until screams started coming from the Imagination. Really, they shouldn't be surprised. The twins were always down there fighting some weird creature, and when there was no monster, they'd be fighting each other. But Logan stayed put. It was still normal enough. And, as always, Patton insisted on going downstairs to make sure they were ok, because the twins were reckless and would get hurt, and someone needed to patch them up. And Logan just kept on eating his toast. 

He really should've suspected something would go wrong. But even if he had, nothing would have prepared him to what would happen.

He heard the door to the Imagination open, and as soon as he saw his boyfriend's distraught face he knew in his bones something had happened.

"Patton? Are you alright?" He said.

And before Patton had a chance to talk, Logan noticed the other man. And he did not know what to feel.

See, when Thomas was younger, the line that separated facts from fiction was… thinner, so to say. Children tend to take everything they see as reality, and that meant that there was no one in the Mindscape as close as Logic and Creativity. The twins don't remember this, don't remember the stories and the characters they made together, don't remember hours and hours of creating worlds so different from theirs.

Love was weird when you were that young, but if he thought about it, Logan had to admit Romulus was the first person he ever loved. More like puppy love, really, but still love. And there was no one as devastated as him when the king disappeared.

The moment his usually cheery and happy best friend left a letter explaining how unhappy he was, explaining what led him to split into two entirely new sides, Logan had decided that he didn't like emotions. Not when they drove Romulus away. 

But now that same boy was looking at him, smiling shyly, and he was confused.

"Surprise?" Said Patton weakly, noticing his face. He then looked at the King "Romulus, buddy, why don't you go to the living room for a bit? I'll be right behind you, I just need to talk to Logan."

Creativity nodded and left.

"Logan? Are you okay, sweetheart?" The cardigan-clad man got closer and took his hand.

"I'm alright, Patton, why are you asking?" Logan tried to look away, but the other side took his face in his hands.

"Logan, love… you're crying." And he was. He didn't know how he hadn't noticed, but there were definitely tears running down his cheeks. He didn't know how to answer, but then he looked at his boyfriend's worried face and made a decision. There were more important things to worry about at the moment then his pesky feelings and the heavy press on his lungs. So he wiped his tears and straightened his back, taking Patton's hands in his own. Then he put on a determined facade.

"I'm fine, Patton, don't worry. Now. Tell me what in hell is going on"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the erratic posting schedule but I only feel inspired to write once every blue moon lmao


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is awkward and Romulus is a side character in a story about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waddup it's my birthday and I just wrote all of this in an hour without reading back even once, so if you see any typos, please tell me

If he had to describe the mood in the lab, Romulus thought awkward would be pretty accurate. He'd been taken there by Logan after his conversation with Patton, and the taller man had yet to meet his eyes. Patton had gone to wake up the others, as his appearance was deemed enough of an emergency to be warrant a house meeting, which left him alone with the logic side, who clearly would rather jump of the top of a tower then be anywhere near him. Logan kept muttering things under his breath as he wrote on a tiny notebook, only talking to him when asking him to use his powers for something, checking if they were still working, or to ask him if he felt tired or in pain. All the pseudo-medical-but-also-magical talk was really starting to annoy Romulus, so he decides to ask a question of his own.

"Logan?" He asked weakly.

Logan seemed surprised at the interruption, but he didn't take his eyes from his notebook.

"Yes, Romulus?"

"What… am I?"

This seemed to intrigue the other side.

"What do you mean? You're a side. Like us."

"Yes, but… Remus and Roman were sides too. And they merged or something? And now I'm here… And I don't feel like I felt before! My brain is quiet!"

Logan finally looked up.

"That's curious…" he raised his pen to his lips and walked closer to the creative side. 

"Romulus, can you make a sword please?"

Romulus obliged, and a familiar katana appeared in his right hand.

"Now could you please make a morning star?"

Again, the king did as asked, and the weapon appeared in his left hand.

"Now bring them together."

Romulus did just that, and the moment the weapons touched there was a blinding pink light. When it disappeared, a big shield was in his hands. It was silver and the shape would be similar to what you would find in the Renaissance era, if it wasn't for the spikes adorning the top and the thin part at the bottom that resembled a blade. Romulus looked confused, but Logan looked as if he solved all of life's mysteries.

"Of course, that makes much more sense! You're not a full fledged side. Your a fusion." Logan was smiling and was going to say something when they were interrupted by a knock.

"Logan, dear, are you there?" Said Patton through the door.

The logical side immediately opened the door.

"Dove, I've figured it out! Romulus isn't a side, he's a fusion!"

Patton chuckled.

"That's lovely, but it wasn't that hard to figure out, sweetie." Logan looked confused at that.

"He _is_ wearing two colors instead of one. Plus, the twins are gone. There's no way for that to happen besides of fusion."

Logan looked like he wanted to answer, but he looked wearily at Romulus, as if he didn't trust him. Realizing this, Patton took a step out of the room. His boyfriend, understanding, walked out as well and closed the door behind them.

"So why are you so happy that he's a fusion?" Asked the smaller man.

Logan hesitated.

"I thought… that maybe they were gone. Remus and Roman, I mean. They split once. What if this was a permanent change?"

Patton's eyes widened.

"Oh. Oh, no. I hadn't thought about that! I… are you sure that won't happen? Logan, we can't lose them!"

"I think it will be okay." Logan hugged his boyfriend, who had started to tear up "I am sure Roman and Remus will be back, Patton."

They stayed there hugging for a few more moments.

"You should probably go back in there. I don't want the kiddo to be worried about us." The moral side broke the embrace, wiping his tears. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me then."

"Actually…" Logan started "I have an idea. And I could use your help."


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emile enters the scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Detailed panic attack, mostly accidental self-harm, and blood

When Patton and Logan got back into the room, they were clearly excited, the smaller man practically bouncing on his feet. Romulus just kept on being confused, because that was apparently his default state now. The two other sides in the room shared a look and a smile.

"So, Romulus. As I have discovered, you are a fusion. Therefore, I think I am not the right person to be helping here." Started Logan.

"But you're Logic! Who else would it be?" Romulus replied.

"Well, kiddo, I think it's time you met Emile!" Said Patton. He turned to Logan and held out his hand. "Shall we, dear?"

Logan took his hand 

"We shall, my love"

Logan led Patton into a clumsy pirouette, clearly practiced but messy because they couldn't keep themselves from laughing lovingly. Then the logical side kissed his partner in the forehead and dipped him gently. As soon as he did, a light similar to the one that made his shield appeared, and when it vanished, an unfamiliar man was there. He had glasses, and bright pink hair, and he wore a tie and a cardigan. 

"Oh, hi there!" He waved. He looked down and smiled "Oh, mint green tie? That's a new color!"

"Um, hey? Are you Emile?" Romulus asked. For some reason, deep, deep down, he felt like he knew this man, but he could not remember from where.

"Ah, yes, how could I forget? I am Dr. Emile Picani! Officially, I am Compassion, but I double as a therapist when it's needed! So, do you how do?" Emile was smiling in a way very reminiscent of Patton as he sat down in the chair Logan had been in. 

"I'm… you know. Not great. One moment i was eleven years old and in pain, and then suddenly I am…" Romulus stopped when he realized he had no idea how old he was.

"34. Thomas is 34." Emile provided, curious.

"Right. Suddenly I am 34 and I have no idea what happened in the 20 years in between." The King laid back his head against the wall. 

Emile wrote something in a notebook that came out of nowhere.

"That's interesting… Normally fusions keep their components memories, but it would make sense that, having been a side once, you would be different. So, you're telling me you don't remember anything after The Split-" 

The moment Emile said those words, his voice was replaced by a loud ringing in Romulus' years, grating violently at his brain. His breathing quickly got erratic, and his clothes suddenly felt scratchy and way too hot, and he couldn't see anything, he couldn't see anything again, and he couldn't talk and his body was on fire and he could feel his bones breaking into two and why was this happening, why now, please, not again-

"-mulus, please, you have to listen to me" He could hear a voice, but it was too loud and too rough and it felt like someone was stabbing a hot metal rod into his ears. 

"Romulus, you're having a panic attack, buddy. I'm gonna need you to breathe with me, okay?" The voice was softer this time, and Romulus felt like he did not have the strength to go against it "There you go, kiddo, you're doing so good. In for four, hold for seven, and out for eight. That's it, keep going" 

Slowly, Romulus' vision got less nebulous and he remembered where he was. He must've fallen to the ground, because Emile was kneeling in front of him, trying to hide his panic with a smile. For some reason, his arm felt sticky and wet, but when he tried to look at it, his brain could not register what it was seeing.

"How are you doing, kiddo?" Emile asked, making Romulus look up again. He tried to respond, but his throat felt uncomfortably dry. Thankfully, Emile noticed and summoned a cup of water. "You had a really bad panic attack there. You need to get some water in you, because those can make you really dehydrated, okay?"

Romulus just nodded and drank his water.

"Why does my arm feel gross?" He asked as soon as he felt like he could talk. 

"Well, bud, you were scratching yourself really badly. I tried to make you stop, but you're stronger than me." For a moment, sadness was visible in Emile's face, but it was quickly schooled back into his calm and professional facade "I'm afraid you used so much force that you broke the skin."

Looking down at his arm again, Romulus realized that the sticky wet substance he felt in his arm was blood. He looked hesitantly at it, weirdly fascinated by the way it was slowly drying up.

"Look, Romulus" Emile sighed "I get that you're scared. You have all the right to be. Your situation is very special, and none of us are exactly sure of what is happening, to be honest. But we're trying our best to help you, okay?" 

Romulus nodded, still quiet. It was weird to be quiet for this long. He remembers talking and singing and joking for hours on end, and he knows, the same way he knows his heart his beating and that blood is being pumped through his veins without ever having seen it, that Remus and Roman were the same. But for some reason, the idea of talking felt gross and scratchy and just simply unbearable.

"Would you like to continue our conversation, or do you wanna go rest for a bit? You could even meet Virgil, he's heard quite a lot about you." Emile asked kindly. Romulus just shook his head "Rom, you gotta work with me here, kiddo."

Romulus just shook his head again, covering his neck with hands, but Emile seemed to understand what he meant by this. 

"Hey, Rom, are you able to talk right now?" He got an embarrassed shake in response "Alright, buddy, that's a normal thing to happen after attack. I'm gonna ask again, okay? If you mean yes, squeeze my hand once, and if you mean no squeeze twice. You got that, kiddo?" 

Romulus hesitated but squeezed once. 

"Alright! Look at that, you're doing great! So, do you want to continue our conversation? We can keep the squeeze method until you feel ready to talk again. If you say no, you can go upstairs and have lunch in your room, since I'm guessing you really don't wanna see anyone right now" Romulus seemed to take a moment to think, but eventually squeezed once.

"Okay, let's do this then."

Emile began then asking Romulus various questions, always to be answered with a yes or a no, about how he felt and about how he was dealing with existing again. He skilfully avoided any mention of The Split, afraid it might trigger another panic attack, but eventually he got to a point where he had to breach the topic. Uncertain if it was the right choice, Emile decided it would be better if they took a break.

"So, Romulus, I think that was a pretty good start! Do you feel up for talking now?" He asked.

"Hm, yeah, I think so" Romulus answered, his voice slightly scratchy. Emile smiled.

"Then let's go upstairs for a bit. It's lunch time! Would you like to eat with us or in your room?"

Romulus bit his nail.

"I think I can eat with everyone else." He gave a strained smile.

"Alright, let's go then!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! Just wanted to talk about some stuff. First, I know Romulus may seem out of character form what you would think Creativity would actual like, but he's going through some shit! Second, I know Thomas is currently 31, but this happens a few years in the future. As always, please tell me if you see a typo. Byee! :)


End file.
